(This is an example of why i want a Dictaphone.)
On Anger and Books
I start out of anger, even though I am not angry at this moment. What makes people have different expectations? I wonder how can a person have certain ideas and expectations towards an event while the other person is completely off? I guess I just expected something a little warmer, and instead I got shoved back into reality. Yeah I know we are not all perfect but… I don’t want this. I ignore this. Its fine by me I guess, since I forget fast, but its still bothering me that’s why I had to get off my bed, turn the lights on and start this. Who knows, this might to somewhere further than I expect. (I always think of people who are going to read this, though most likely no one is going to read it. Its not a book, nothing even remotely close so what the hell?) its not a diary either I guess because there are no dates. I do wish this (or something of this sort) eventually would find its way outside, onto real pages, real paper, real book. That would be totally cool.
I do feel angry. Not in a sense of smashing things, but rather in a way that is upsetting. Things are not going the way I want them to. Its understandable, everyone, and I do mean everyone, goes through this kind of feelings. I came to understand that majority of people have similar problems; the ways of dealing or acknowledging them could differ but the cornerstones are same. People have been dealing and feeling for quite some time. Maybe I’ll write one of my chapters in the book about it someday. Fuck, I am definitely not doing what I want to do. So I just looked through some websites and it’s really cheap to actually make a book. That sounds so cool and easy, all I have to do now is get around 100pages of content and be done J. well. Wish me luck because I am not really dedicated to it so I don’t think im going to “finish” it in the next, I don’t know, year. But that makes me happy. Im glad that within minutes I found ways of fulfilling my ideas into reality. Internet is quite handy in that sense. I don’t even care that I will be super tired tomorrow at work because I think I learned something and I feel that self-growth is important.
Who knows maybe I should write a book about advices, but oh come on, I am not the best at explaning, understanding or weiring things like that. All I want is maybe to just have a book published by me. That would just sound cool and interesting. Its time to look for content. And the only place I can think of is my life, so ill just wait until it happens.
Geez, I bet people spend a whole lot of time on their creations, maybe mine will be just sporatical and random, so I don’t have to spell check everything and reread my boringness over and over again until I get sick of it. Oh I just hope this wont go away in the next 2-8 weeks.
On People:
All these people are definitely gone from my life. I cant say for sure, but I’m pretty sure. Damn
Andrew was always a strong individual, with his own thoughts and ideas. He really does not care sometimes about what others think. Its good in a sense that he is free but he also looks like he’s an asshole. Well, he is. And that’s why some people totally get along with him and some never will. Was he always so stubborn? Yes. Ever since he was young he rarely gave up something.
Some people feel good when they are tired. I havent decided yet how I feel about feeling tired.
Only somehow the worlds of other people are connected to yours. only sometimes you have one or two things in common, and the rest of "life" or is completelly and utterly different. Quite astonishing, may i notice.
Some Quotes:
-Its easy to judge people. Quick blinks of emotion
-We think we are thinking outside the box only because we cant see how big the box really is.
-We cannot do without reality and we cannot do without illusion. Each serves a purpose, each imposes a limit on the influence of the other, and our experience of the world is the artful compromise that these tough competitors negotiate.
On Facebook:
face book junkies friend you by the time you get home and check you face book
face book whores friend you by the next day
face book closet whores friend you within 3-5 days.
On Present moment:
“Here's the most fundamental paradox of all: Mindfulness isn't a goal, because goals are about the future, but you do have to set the intention of paying attention to what's happening at the present moment. As you read the words printed on this page, as your eyes distinguish the black squiggles on white paper, as you feel gravity anchoring you to the planet, wake up. Become aware of being alive. And breathe. As you draw your next breath, focus on the rise of your abdomen on the in-breath, the stream of heat through your nostrils on the out-breath. If you're aware of that feeling right now, as you're reading this, you're living in the moment. Nothing happens next. It's not a destination. This is it. You're already there.
“
Its all about enjoying a moment. This moment. (The present, I mean).
Here is a picture that fits well with history
No comments:
Post a Comment